Happy 6, 7 and 8 Months Caleb Asher!

It's official.  I am a horrible mother!!  I did not post about Caleb's 6 or 7 month birthdays!

We are all friends here right?  Well, it is time to be honest:  It has been a trying 8 months and I have not posted his month birthdays because I kept thinking we would have a few good days and I would come on here and rave about how everything is FINALLY better.  I waited and waited. It has been the most challenging 8 month of my life.  It has NOT been all roses and hearts and butterflies.  Anyone who tells you everything in their life is all wonderful ALL the time is lying (especially if they have small children).  BUT it is the challenging moments that make the wonderful ones that much more wonderful.  The sweetest sweet.  The Joyous Joys.  The funniest fun.  I tell only the truth and its been a trying and difficult time, but we have also experienced the best moments too.  Most people just like to share the best moments, but I am willing to share the trying moments too!  I am finally learning that it is ok to have bad moments, even terrible ones.  Give yourself a moment to say "Man, that stunk" then move on.  The more I allow myself to have that moment the quicker I can forget about it and see the GOOD moments (even if they only come once a week sometimes).

However I am thrilled to report, we have resolved Caleb's tummy issues. YAY!!!!!

6 Month Overview

• Weight:  20 lbs 2 oz
• Diaper Size: 3
• Clothing Size:  Some 9 months and some 12 months
• Breastfeeding:  Still exclusively breastfeeding, no formula.  I am pumping some and nursing some; we are doing anything to keep doing breast milk regardless of how he gets it.
• Solids:  Boy LOVES solids.  Perhaps too much.  Anything with gluten does seem to give him wicked painful gas so we have stopped all gluten.  This means ALL organic rice cereal (Gerber does NOT make a cereal without gluten or soy derivatives in it).
• Tummy:  Still a huge issue.  At this point we were still not certain the culprit.  This effects every aspect of his life; unhappy playing, sleeping, everything.  Sure he has good moments, but he is in pain.  His frequently disgruntled and uncomfortable disposition makes it hard on the entire family.  I am exhausted everyday from a nearly constantly crying baby; it challenges my already lacking patience.  I do realize it is NOT his fault but that does not make it any easier.  When his stomach is not bothering him, he can light up a room with his big bright eyes!

7 Month Overview

• Weight: ?
• Diaper Size: 3 during the day, 4 at night
• Clothing Size:  All 12 month
• Breastfeeding:  Still all breastmilk and only nursing at bedtime.
• Solids:  LOVES solids still.  He does seem to be a bit sensitive to texture.  We found a brand of puffs that is soy, gluten and diary free, YAY!  He is slowly getting that pincer grabbing perfected.
• Tummy:  We finally made the first increase in his zantac (for reflux) this month, maximum dosage.  During this month, we also tried the elimination diet.  For the first 4 days I ate only chicken and rice.  All meals.  After that I did not eat anything that contained soy, dairy, caffeine wheat or gluten OR any derivatives.  For anyone who has done an actual Elimination Diet, you know this REALLY limits you on what you can eat.  It has been very hard on all of us because I am hungry all the time and anything I want to eat requires a lot more cooking than I feel like doing on the bad days.  After two weeks Caleb was napping well and seemed very happy.  We knew something I was eating was bothering him so we added DAIRY back in.  Within 4 days, Caleb was a mess.  Screaming during all his naps.  Irritable.  MESS.  And it took two weeks to straighten him back out again.  Exhausted and feeling defeated, we took back out dairy and I remained dairy, soy, wheat and gluten free.
• Mobility:  He does the swim when on his tummy.  He forgot how to roll from tummy to back so it is causing sleep disruptions and frustration when he has tummy time.
• Milestones:  Dropped the late evening cat nap.  Went to the pool for the first time!

8 Month Overview

• Weight:  A week and a half ago he weighed 21 lbs 8 oz
• Diaper Size: 4 (just like big sister)
• Clothing: 12 month and 18 month
• Breastfeeding:  I am having trouble maintain my own weight and eating healthy with such a restrictive diet so for the sake of the entire family and Caleb's contentment we decided to start weaning to SOY formula.  It is June 28 as I write this and he is taking 75% formula and 25% breast milk.  During the weaning process I am still not eating dairy, soy, gluten or wheat. Bonus:  I am saving up a lot of breast milk he CAN drink, so he will still get breastmilk I have frozen during the elimination months for a long time!!  YAY!  I admit after breastfeeding since April 1, 2010 with only a 3 or 4 month break between kids, I am relieved it is almost over.  I cannot wait to pack the pump away and eat pizza and cookies and milk!!!!!
• Solids:  We are staying away from anything with gluten or diary in it for the time being.  Once he is on ALL forumla, we will test gluten on him and be able to see any reactions MUST faster than when it shows up in my milk.  So, its plain ole purees for him right now.
• Tummy:  Since the second elimination and the process of weaning ALL tummy issues have disappeared.  He is the happiest baby now.  It is quite remarkable.
• Mobility:  Not moving anywhere yet, but LOVES to stand and swim on his tummy.
• Sleeping:  He takes two naps 10-12 and 2-430 and he is doing GREAT.  Sometimes he wakes up at night and cries out when his teeth hurt, but other than that sleep is FINALLY stable since his tummy issues are stable.
• Milestones: Got two teeth, dropped the dream feed, rolling both ways SOME, dropped the swaddle FINALLY, first sickness--Hand, foot, mouth

6-8 Month Summary:  As I look back I wonder how we ever got through it.  Yes, it was that challenging.  Now I look forward to the future with such excitement knowing that Caleb finally feels better.  I am thankful that the issue was only his reflux and some severe food sensitivities and even more thankful we have an answer.  Finally.  Admittedly, I feel guilty that we could not discover the culprit sooner.  I often wonder how it would have affected the family and his disposition.  I feel even more guilty it was my fault he was hurting, indirectly yes, but still my fault.  This is the last time I will feel guilty about it because now, I must relish every grin, smile, coo, perfect nap, giggle, mealtime, playtime, etc.  I must relish every tiny joy he has because we missed out on so many when his tummy was hurting. 

My Dearest Little Asher:  I ask too often for your forgiveness, but forgive me for each moment I have been frustrated at you.  I want you to understand that I was frustrated because I wanted you to be well and be the sweetie I know you were TRYING hard to be.  I did fail you.  I failed you because I was not completely relying on God, I was partially relying on me.  Only our Lord can heal, bring us comfort and peace, and truly encourage us.  Forgive me for falling short as a spiritual guider.  It is hard to admit, but I fell short.  No more will I allow the evil one to steal the joy you bring this family.  You are what we named you Asher, Happy.  I love your goofy giggle, your squirmy hands and feet, your big beautiful eyes and the way you adore your big sister.  Thank you for teaching me so much in just 8 months: patience, love, peace through the storm, compassion, determination and sacrifice.  You are an amazing little dude and I DO count it an honor to be your mother.  My love for you will always deepen and will never fade!  Your Always Trying to be Better Mommy :)

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