Potty Training: Day 10

Continuing on my quest to review our potty training adventures (and hopefully help a few of you NOT make the same mistakes I did) I bring you---Day 10.  I blog day 10 because we made a change to the reward strategy   My other blogs on potty training are:  Method, Prep and Reward Strategy, Day 1 and 2, Day 3 through 9

Goal:  Transition out of instant gratification type rewards and into longer term rewards.

New Reward Strategy:  Using a chart (see photo below), Addison places stickers leading up to a reward.  As time goes on, it requires more and more stickers to get rewards and the rewards get more exciting.  I am always looking ways to make things fun for everyone in our family and with the chart---everyone can join in on the fun.  And potty training needs some fun involved...lets be honest.  We also want to take every opportunity to teach the children about setting goals and achieving them.  I think this is something my parents really taught me well and I hope to continue to foster that in our children.  The rewards were very inexpensive because the point was NOT about getting her the coolest toy.  Here are the different rewards:

• Prize Bags:  Basically special looking stickers and/or something from the target dollar bin; there were nine of these and they took 4-5 stickers which generally takes her 1-1.5 days to earn (total cost about 6 bucks)
• Library Trips:  Two of these requiring 10-14 stickers and should take 2-3 days to earn (cost: free)
• Berenstains's Bears Book:  One of these requiring 12 stickers and should take 3 days to earn; she recently got into these books and LOVES them (cost: $4)
• Zoo Trip:  One of these requiring 20 stickers and should take about 5 days
• Pizza Party:  This is basically like a bigger chucky cheese that is fun for adults and kids.  When my parents visited, they took us there and she had a BLAST getting tickets.  She can hardly wait to earn the pizza party.  There is one of these requiring 24 stickers and it should take 6 or 7 days.

Treats:  Disconinued.  She only asked one time for them after we started the chart.  They give her a treat at school IF she goes :)

Accidents:  None since the first two days.

School:  She finally went potty at school!!!

Naps:  In total, woken up wet once and dirty twice

Bedtime:  She wakes up wet everyday, dirty once.

Success Rewards:  Since we ended the treats we give verbal praise for this.  She accepts it now---strange.

We are on day 15 as I type this and I am satisfied with the progress, proud of Addison and impressed with how well she has done!

What would I do differently?

As I write this, we are still on the prize bag portion of the chart, so I cannot say for sure that this has/has not been successful.

The one thing I would do differently, but I am not sure how is number 2.  She goes on the potty but I have to be creative about WHEN I ask her about needing to do this.  She never wants to sit long enough to actually go because it takes more than 10 seconds to go, unlike pee.  The time of day she goes varies so she is going when she needs to, but I have to figure out a way to get her to sit long enough to go or to be sure she doesn't need to go.  I hope that makes sense.

Potty Training: Day 3 through 9

Day 3 though 9 Summary

Goal:  Slowly challenge her skills in independently recognizing her need to potty as well as going potty away from home.

Set up:  Potty chair along with books and treats stayed in the half bath.  Occasionally at night we would bring it upstairs where she bathes.

Doll:  Doll no longer helped us through the process :)

Drinks:  Drinking was back to the usual protocol; milk with meals and water between meals.  Occasionally she has diluted juice as an afternoon snack.

Dry/Clean Rewards:  Our orginal intent was to follow the Pottywise method to focus rewards not only on GOING potty but remaining dry/clean.  The thought behind it is, it helps minimize accidents because they are being praised for not JUST the result (GOING potty).  Around day three (this was the first day my focus was split between the two kids because Matthew was back to work of course), when I would ask her to check if she was dry/clean she would freak out.  She screamed NO!!!  I thought maybe she was scared she had failed, but I checked her anyways and would say "YAY you are dry and clean", let's go get a treat and try to sit on the potty.  She responded with "NO, dont say yay.  Dont say it.  I dont want a treat."  Wow.  I did not expect that.  All I can figure is, she ONLY wants to make a trip to the potty if she is certain she will be successful.

Success rewards:  We continued to reward with two treats (skittles, M&Ms or fruit snacks) after each successful potty trip.  At day ten, we changed the reward strategy, so stay tuned

Mandatory potty times:  Once we figured out that Addison strives for only successful trips to the potty, we decided to only expect her to sit and try at certain times.  We expect (and even endure a tantrum) an attempt before nap, bedtime, video time (which is once or less a day) and before an outing.  These mandatory times started off as a huge battle ground which is NOT what I EVER wanted, however we stuck with it.  Now at day 12, she generally complies with these mandatory times.  I believe once we established a CONSISTENT expectation of mandatory times, she felt confident and content.

Asking to potty vs. independent recognition:  When we noticed that Addison did not want to take a trip to the potty unless it would be successful we started giving her longer to TELL us she needs to potty vs asking every 15 minutes.  She asks to go potty about 50% of the time and the rest of the time she is going because she was asked and realized she needed to go.

School:  We held off on starting her back to school until day five of potty training.  Our desire was to set her up for success and the best way to do that was to stay at home and focus on potty training several days in a row before venturing to "foreign" pottys.  Day five was her first day at a new school and she went from 8 am to 2:30 without going potty!  WOW!  However, no accidents.  Whenever the staff asked her if she needed to go she cried.  When I picked her up around 2 pm I took her to THEIR potty with the teacher and she still would not go.  Upon our return home, she did both.  Twice.  I felt bad that she held it that long, but was impressed with her control too.  More to come on this.

Naps:  She sleeps with a pull up mostly because she is still in a crib and would not be able to go potty if she needed to.  She has been dry every time and clean all but twice.

Bedtime:  She sleeps with a pull up; I am NOT worried about nighttime control for a LONG time.  She wakes up wet every morning.

Independence:  Towards the end of day 7, 8 and 9 Addison started exhibiting the desire to go through the entire potty process independently--pants off/on, sitting alone, reading alone, etc.  This brought me encouragement!!

Accidents:  Accident Free!  WOOT!!!

What would I do differently?

Consistent expectations:  As I mentioned under the mandatory potty times, establishing consistent expectations for mandatory potty times would have been helpful.  We believe consistency is the key to much of our parenting success; this is no exception.

Focus:  A three day weekend with Matthew home an extra day would have been helpful.

School:  I am not sure WHAT I would do differently, but I would do something different here.  Perhaps we should have waited until she was comfortable with the teachers before potty training.

Dry/Clean rewards:  I love the idea of rewarding for something other than successful trips, however in hindsight I think I was inconsistent with this.

Independent recognition:  I should have started allowing her to TELL me she needs to go sooner; many meltdowns may have been avoided.

I am sure I will have more on what I would do differently as I get further along in the process.  Some mistakes take a while to haunt us :)

Potty Training: Day 1 and 2 Summary

Day 1

GOAL:  Addison to achieve as many successful attempts to go potty.

• Set up:  Put a potty chair in the play room (just outside the half bath) with a little water in it; placed a few books beside the potty; placed her treat jar beside the potty; placed her favorite baby doll with a diaper (one of Caleb's from when he was born; size 1)
• Woke up, put on a dry/clean diaper and had a semi bland breakfast.  Breakfast was bland to encourage thirst and hunger later in the day with the hopes that it would increase the number of potty successes.
• Doll:  Immediately following breakfast, we walked down to the potty and asked Addison to feel the diaper on the baby doll (Sarah) to see if she was dry or wet.  She of course responds with "dry"; we all celebrated with Sarah and gave Sarah one treat for being dry and clean; Addison partook as well.  Next we set Sarah on the potty (remember we put water in there earlier) and a few moments later, we all exclaimed "HORRAY SARAH WENT PEE PEE ON THE POTTY!".  After the horrays died down, Sarah and Addison both had two treats.
• First Attempt:  Following in the excitement of Sarah's success on the potty, we ask Addison if she is dry, obviously yes.  Horray, one treat.  We sit immediately on the potty.  Our goal was to keep her on the potty at least 3-5 minutes at each attempt no matter how we needed to keep her there-books, ipad, music, video, anything.  Luckily all it took was singing and books but we were prepared to use any means.  Why?  Because the most successes we had at the beginning, the faster she would learn the sensations leading up to, during and after needing to potty.
• Frequency:  After each successful attempt, we waited 30-45 minutes before checking her dry/clean status and sitting on the potty.  After each unsuccessful attempt (unsuccessful being she sat on the potty and did nothing), we waiting 12-20 minutes.
• Drinks:  Addison rarely drinks anything other than water or milk so the special juice boxes she picked out were a fabulous incentive and opportunity creator :)
• Sleep Times:  She wore a pull up during sleep times (nap and nighttime).
• Focus:  This was the focus for the day.  One parent was always with Addison encouraging the process the other took care of Caleb.  We earmarked Saturday to Tuesday for potty training, so we planned to not go anywhere.
• Accidents:  She had only one accident, first thing in the morning.
• Fun Story:  After the first few times she went pee pee on the potty, she figured it out so she went 23 times in a row standing up shouting with excitement.  Immediately after she would get a treat, she would say she needed to go again!  HAHAHA!

Day 2 

Goal:  Addison to achieve as many successful attempts to go potty.

• Differences:  The only difference was we offered less juice, otherwise day two was identical.
• Accidents:  She had only one accident, first thing in the morning.

Overall:  We considered it an amazingly successful first two days.  

What would we do differently?

• Dry/Clean rewards:  I feel like we rewarded for this inconsistently.  Now (Day 6) she gets upset when we praise her for dry/clean.  She even gets upset when we ask her to check her dryness.  I am not totally convinced she responds with way due to inconsistency.  There have been other areas of her life when she prefers attention NOT be drawn to her success.
• Others involvement:  If a grandparent or friend could have come over during the process and taken her potty a few times it would have been great.  On day 6, Addison still refuses to potty for ANYONE other than me or Matthew.  She held it for 7 hours at school and 7 hours for a sitter.  Wow.  I am uncertain if that would help, but perhaps it would.  That is just one of the challenges of living far from family.  It will pass.
• Timing:  In hindsight, I think it would be better to have more time between dropping her sleep time paci and potty training.  I think I needed the break more than her but it was a lot of changes at once--move across the country, paci, potty.  

Future....day six, only two accidents to date.  More to come.  I have lots I would do differently between day three and six

Potty Training: Method, Prep and Reward Strategy

METHOD: We opted for an aggressive approach to potty train. We basically carved out three to four days to focus completely on potty training. For the first two days, there was always someone with Addison to help with process while the other took care of Caleb. We are closing out day two as a write this.

PREP: Leading up to the big day, she picked out "undies", special potty treats (she selected M&Ms, skittles and Dora fruit snacks) and a special potty drink (she selected fruitables Elmo and cookie monster juices). Several days ahead of time we started talking about the new undies, we washed them and put them in a special spot. The day before, we put the potty treats put where she could see them, hoping to prompt a discussion. As we put her to bed the night before, we talked about wearing the undies, how exciting it would be and how/when she would be rewarded. After she was in bed, we pulled out a potty chair, put the treats and undies on display nearby and put a diaper on her favorite baby doll.

We also bought a few "bigger prizes" from the dollar bin at target. The PLAN is after several days of the consumable prizes, we would begin rewarding on a chart where after X number of successful trips she could pick a prize. Then if needed, we would start rewarding for number of days she is accident free with a trip to the library. We shall see what is needed to keep her on task :)

REWARD STRATEGY: She is rewarded to staying dry and clean (one treat from the treat jar) and for a successful trip to the potty (two treats). We do not distinguish between #2 or #1. They receive the same reward.

CHANGES: As we close out day 2, I don't have any changes so far to the above areas. There are several things I would do differently on day one and day two, but i will discuss those in subsequent posts.

Hope this helps my mommy friends out there.....and maybe this will help with potty training caleb one day......a very very long time from now.

One last thing before I go to bed----I am exhausted from potty training!!!!!! Whew!!!!

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