Today I confess that being a parent vs a friend to your child is HARD; this is not an experience exclusive to a stay at home mommies. I was never naive enough to think that parenting would be easy, but as we approach critical parenting opportunities with our toddler, I am realizing it is far more challenging than I thought. I find myself thinking things like, "wouldn't it be easier to let them have their way", "follow through isn't important is it", "they wont remember me getting upset will they", "I just want to play with them and ignore all their sin nature", "forget teaching them all the important virtues, they will just figure it out right", etc.
It is far easier to allow my children to run our household, attend to their every whim (which as we all know changes every moment), cater to their every desire, bow to their every tantrum and ultimately allow them to be in charge. The challenge lies in teaching our children the virtues and morals that God expects us to. There is a delicate balance between teaching/discipline and loving/nurturing. The two are not mutually exclusive, however I find loving/nurturing much easier than teaching/disciplining. Discipline is not all hugs, giggles, harmony, flowers and hearts. Discipline can hurt, sometimes the parent more than the child. How much easier would it be for me to ignore Addison's indignant "NO" or knocking over her brother or simply running off when I call her or "so and so took my toy so I snatched it back" Instead, we must teach her RESPECT ("you do not tell mommy no" followed by consequence), KINDNESS ("pushing people is unkind, Jesus teaches us to be kind to others" followed by consequence and apology), again RESPECT and finally LOVE ("we must love others even when they are not being loving towards us"). There are many other imperative virtues, but you get the point. I would much rather just ignore everything and cross my fingers that we get lucky and they turn out fine. OR even better---rely on someone else to teach/discipline them somewhere along the way!!!!
I hate, hate, hate disciplining my children. I hate seeing the "hurt" (really I think its remorse) on their face. I HATE seeing them unhappy. I HATE it. But I think I would hate myself more if I gave up and they didn't learn the virtues which are ultimately those of a Christ follower. I would regret it. And I would be failure.
Today I am worn out from being a parent. Today was a day I wanted to give up. I am not proud of how every tiny little discipline opportunity panned out, but I am not perfect. The important thing is I DID NOT give up and WILL NOT give up even when a lot of the world around me tells me NOT to be a parent but rather a friend---to take the easy way out, the path of least resistance.
In the words of a friend's email to me tonight....tomorrow is a new day!
So true. Your littles are so lucky to have such a compassionate and strong mommy.
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