Confessions of a Stay at Home Mom: Exhausted

Since April 1, 2010 I have felt like I have been in a constant state of exhaustion. I used to think I was a whimp but I haven't, until recently, really understood (or maybe believed) why I live feeling exhausted day in and day out.
Very few of you know that I got a little part time job, 15 hours a week or so (only 1/3 of the hours are when my kids are actually awake too!!!). Why? to FORCE me out of the house. leaving the house strictly for social reasons made me feel guilty and I frequently find excuses not to go since i "don't do anything all day long". I thought surely I would not be able to function the days after I work because I play wife and mommy all day then work until 10 pm. I found the very opposite to be true. I am LESS tired the days I work at the part time job. The days I am ONLY a SAHM are far more tiring. No comparison. I realized it is because my real job is far more emotional than any "real world" part time job. It's simply draining to care for your own children each day because you know what? The job of a SAHM never truly ends, we are always on. Always. I never knew how exhausting the emotional aspect of my job was until I had something to compare to.
I think the majority of the exhaustion is rooted in knowing the decisions I make (big and small) impact so many generations to come. Not only do I effect Addison and Caleb---I effect their children and their children etc. I don't consciously think that all day long but because I/we strive to raise our children to be loving, responsible, independent, god fearing, productive people it takes a lot of work each day. Easy street beckons me each day---be a friend not a parent, cater to them, no boundaries, relinquish my parenting to others, neglect their natural abilities, avoid teaching them, avoid disciplining lalalala!
This realization actually brought me relief---I am not just a tired whimp!!!! My SAHM job IS exhausting. Not to mention i do more than babysit all day long...pay bills, clean, grocery shop, cook, be a wife, laundry, etc. I wouldn't change it for anything but I am thankful things are finally all starting to make sense.
And I might also be tired because its 1139 pm and I am still awake!!!
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Nebraska Home Tour: Kitchen and Breakfast Area

The kitchen and breakfast area and nothing special except for our AMAZING wall of cabinets!!!!!  I love cooking so we have it filled with all my cooking supplies (food and gear) for quick access.  DC did not afford us much storage space so this is QUITE a welcomed change.

Expresso bar

Kitchen

Breakfast area which we will eventually use to put a computer in.

The Lorax "Reading"

I couldn't finish recording her "reading" because my battery died; this video was about half the book. I tried to record the pages so you could see she wasn't making up the story and because she can be hard to understand when she is stopped up. It's about 5 minutes long, but you get the idea after the first few seconds. I am astounded at her memory!!!!!

Pumpkin Decorating Fun!

Pumpkin Decorating with my lil artist!

She was determined to use the water color paints which did not work well in combination with the tempra paint :)  BUT, I am learning that there is not a right/wrong way to do things.  She needs to discover things and make mistakes and make messes rather than me ALWAYS showing her how to do things.

She wanted a picture of her hand with paint on it.

Done with the pumpkin, on to paper.

For the record, in her name on the paper--she did one of the D's, the I, O and N on her own :)

We Are In Trouble

The second day that Caleb started pulling up to stand and here is a glimpse of our morning....

He figured out how to pull up well yesterday and then this is ALL he does now!  Once this mischievous little boy can walk...watch out world!  And I don't think walking is more than three months off!  YIKES!